I Developed an Addiction

I don’t really get addicted to things. Obsessed with things? Yes, very often, just ask any of my college friends about my opinions on human action, metaphysical materialism, economic development, Settlers of Catan, and especially tribalism. Oh man I cannot stop thinking about tribalism. Moreover, I very rarely spend money on material objects with the exception of books (of which I am very much addicted to). I continued my book addiction in Madagascar by purchasing several French books that I have slowly read throughout my time here. But that’s not a new addiction. In fact, I developed a new addiction while in Madagascar that took me totally by surprise. My new addiction is bootleg hats.

The street markets in Madagascar have four types of clothing: unused and excess legit clothing from Western countries, secondhand clothing from Western countries, bootleg products from China, and secondhand bootleg items from China. That being said, you can find almost anything at any time in the Malagasy street markets. I’ve found some pretty expensive, legitimate Western products, practically new, for only a few dollars. On the other hand, the bootleg items are definitely my favorite. They’re very similar to the real thing. If you didn’t inspect it closely enough, you wouldn’t even realize it was a bootleg; that is, if it weren’t blatantly obvious, you’d never know.

Now there is an excess of bootleg hats that range from car companies to sportswear companies. It started innocently enough, as all addictions do. I wanted a new baseball hat because I was getting tired of wearing my oversized grey adventure hat (which I also bought on the street), and the hats I brought from home were either beginning to fall apart or had already fallen apart. I looked around the market a bit and finally decided to buy my first bootleg hat, a black baseball cap with an “adidas” symbol on it. How did I know it was bootleg? Well, it was the adidas symbol from the 70s and 80s, they don’t use that symbol anymore unless it’s for nostalgic purposes. It’s easy enough to see in their products, even in Europe and the US, but the symbol is still the old one and not the one you would usually associate with such a prestigious sportswear company. Nonetheless, the hat was brand-new and even had a fresh tag on it, sure sign it’s a genuine bootleg.

It’s a nice hat. Good color, nice quality, and goes well with most of my clothing. But I decided I wanted another color. This time I was looking for a grey hat. We went to Morondava in April where I scoured the markets trying to see if the market price for a baseball hat was less because we were away from the capital. It wasn’t. The same price 10,000MGA ($2.50) was the national standard market equilibrium price for hats. Nevertheless, to my great joy, I found another adidas hat that was grey, looked nice, and went well with most of my clothing. I now had my second hat. But it was only the beginning.

I was walking home from school one day when I saw a hat stand. It was the 100th time I had seen it because I see it almost every time I walked home. But one hat in particular stuck out to me. It was a plain red hat with a white square cross on the front, a Swiss hat. For those of you who don’t me that well, I worked and lived in Switzerland at the international scout center in the summer of 2017 and almost applied to graduate school in Switzerland. I went and checked out the hat. Sure enough, it wasn’t bootleg. It was an actual hat made in Switzerland and had obviously not been sold, so they sent it to Madagascar with other “secondhand items”. Only, this wasn’t second hand. I bought it for the usual 10,000MGA, and that transaction started my relationship with one of my two hat dealers.

The guy who runs that hat stand knows me now. I’ve bought 5 hats from him already. My second hat dealer comes to Mahamasina every Thursday for market day, and I’ve bought 5 or more hats from her now. They both wave to me every time I walk past their stands how. We chit chat sometimes. It’s great.

After I bought that Swiss hat, my addiction was almost solidified. What really did it was that I was looking for a black hat with gold. I found it with my first dealer. A Volks Wagen hat, all black except for a thick, gold VW bling on the front. I saw it. I knew it was bootleg. I couldn’t help myself. I handed my dealer the cash and was on my way. You can tell it’s a bootleg. No VW brand would put its name on a hat looking that ridiculous. The bling is too big, its crooked, and the brim completely is off center. In fact, all the bootleg hats have off centered brims. Sometimes that’s the only way you can tell it’s bootleg. But usually it’s only so slight that you wouldn’t notice it unless someone pointed it out. Except for the VW hat which is obviously off center.

And that did it. That VW hat put the last nail in the coffin. I am addicted to hats now. I have 13 hats in total now and I actively look for new colors and brands. I was walking home with my friend Mina who works at the school with me when we stopped at the hat stand, my first hat dealer. He and I said a few things in Malagasy, and then he and Mina spoke a few words.

She said, “He says he knows you.”

“Yeah he does,” I said as I gave the man a fist pump and handed him another 10,000MGA for the hat I purchased that day, a red Wilson’s hat.

Mina couldn’t help herself from laughing.

And there you have it, I have a bootleg hat addiction. I can’t help myself from buying the hats, which I will still wear in the States because they’re good hats. But it’s like a strange game to me. I buy the hat and look for the thing that makes it bootleg. Sometimes the difference that bypasses copyright is really subtle. I bought an Audi hat, and the only difference is that the “I” at the end of Audi is a little too tall. Or the Wilson tennis hat where the symbol is just a little too close to the upper border. There’s the Under Armor hat whose circle in the middle is just a little too oblong. There’s the Jordan’s hat that we have named “Booty Jordan” because his butt is way too big. He’s got a dadbod, lobster claw shoes, sausage fingers, and a football rather than a basketball. It’s one of those pieces of art that the longer you look at it, the more beautiful it becomes.

And who could forget the pinnacle? The prize possession of bootleg hats, really. It’s a North Face-Gucci hat. That’s right. I said North Face and Gucci in the same sentence talking about one product with a hyphen between the two words. North Face and Gucci have two totally different markets. One is an outdoors sportswear company whereas the other sells overpriced basic clothing and accessories and can charge such high prices for “brand-name” purposes. I think it’s weird that people complain how much those kinds of things cost. There are plenty of other options. The market is filled to the brim with supplemental goods. Anyways, it looks ridiculous. The two companies would sooner sink into the unknown abyss than make something together. And that ridiculousness is why I love it so much and why I will never find another quite like it.

Oh man I love it. It’s so much fun and I genuinely love all the hats. I do, however, limit myself to one hat every so often, unless I see a really rare one I haven’t seen before. I won’t call it a hobby or a collection. It’s just a straight up addiction, and I’m proud of it.

As always, know that you are in my prayers each morning. All I ask is that you do the same for me.

May God be praised.